Journal entry 3-20-20
today was spent lounging around and sleeping. Moved back to my apartment, it seems my mother has a handle on things despite her believing this isn’t a serious crisis. I ask her to remind me when was the last time dozens of countries voluntarily shutdown their economy over a “flu”. Today was the first day where reality really hit. People are beginning to accept the way things have changed as our new normal. Things will be forever changed because of this virus, I’m almost sure of it. Daily life includes being wary of who you are talking to and wondering if they might be infected. Really strange to think this way, but this is how life is now. I had a friend over today and we talked about the psychology of how this is affecting people. How people have never been forced to stay indoors and how many people are failing to cope with the implications of being alone with their thoughts and emotions for hours at a time. There’s an article about one girl who already committed suicide due to her loneliness. I wonder how many more will crumble under the mental toll quarantining has on so many of us. While we are all fighting this together, we are fighting it alone in our rooms trying to find purpose and meaning within our 4 walled cages. A video came out today of a hospital in New York City loading bodies into a semi-truck with a forklift. The man’s voice in the video is haunting as he’s watching what is happening. All he could say is “this is real” over and over, 25 times to be exact. I imagine this fear we all are starting to feel is what Vietnam soldiers in the dense jungles felt on patrols. Knowing the enemy is somewhere nearby but not know when or where it will come from. Almost 800,000 cases so far. Total death rate for closed cases is now 19%. The honeymoon phase is over and we are now realizing our marriage to a pandemic is a terrifying relationship.