I want to argue that love is just an extension of fear. Love is an evolutionary trait designed to make us more dangerous and adventurous. It is designed purely to advance our species in the most efficient and growing way possible. This is like energy when it goes from being ballistic to calmer and more focused and less chaotic. Love can hurt badly because of the four fundamental fears that love solves.
- Fear of the unknown: love can tackle this problem by making it so there is a constant in our lives. By having a partner always there it takes some of the risks of life out of the equation as we know we will always have our partner around with us.
- Fear of being judged: fear of judgment is less prevalent in loving relationships because we accept one another, and by knowing we are accepted by someone who knows us so well, we feel safe and protected.
- Fear of taking the first step: taking the first step into anything is much easier when you have a partner to take that step with you.
- Fear of losing control: sometimes life can throw curveballs your way, but if you have some bit of control in your life or I guess I should rather use the word, stability, then you will feel better.
See love stands upon these four pillars and if this pillar is destroyed, we fall back down onto the reality of life that we ARE afraid of the unknown, we ARE afraid of being judged, we ARE afraid of taking the first step, and we ARE afraid of losing control. This isn’t bad, it just is what it is. This is why it is so important to know how to love yourself before you go loving other people. If your partner is fixing all of these fears for you, that makes you dependent on that person for sanity. This will warp your decision-making and cause you to lose even more of yourself along the way. Love yourself and realize that it’s okay to have fears, but we have to conquer these fears in order to truly love others. Continue to think differently.